Monday, January 29, 2007

Various Surrealities at MonsterJam

In order for Tanner to earn a "Group Activity" badge for Cub Scouts, we joined his den at MonsterJam a week ago. Yes, that's the "sport" where monster trucks race each other around in circles and run over smaller cars. I had a few surreal moments therein:

-The Metrodome was nearly full -- probably 50,000 people -- leading me to seriously reconsider my contention that Minnesotans are generally more intelligent than the rest of the American population. (No, the election of Jesse Ventura had not caused me to reconsider this.)

-As Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud to Be an American" was playing at massive decibel levels, an enormous American flag was carried into the middle of the stadium by about two dozen people. Tanner (6), fresh off of a week of public education, said, "Dad, are they singing about Martin Luther King, cuz he wanted freedom?"

"Not exactly," I told him.

-About halfway in to the evening, I realized that every event was rigged so that Grave Digger would win. A quick Wikipedia check later that night explains that "Digger," was purchased from driver Dennis Anderson by Clear Channel Communications in 1998. Of course it was.

-The emcee, a rotund man who ran around the track and cajoled us through our earplugs into cheering, had obviously failed to watch the ESPN report on the 25th anniversary of "The Wave." The Wave is over, dude. It's passé. No one does it anymore.

-The thought occurred to me that I'm very likely the only Red-Letter Christian who's ever been to MonsterJam.


Blogger Adam said...

I love it.

I had my own experience of that once.... - but I LOVED Gravedigger! ;) And I was sitting in a special box deal, so.....

4:20 AM  
Blogger Len said...

The only image I can equal with the absurdity of you at a Monster Truck Event would be Larry The Cable Guy attending an Emergent event. But as a dad, we all do what we have to do. :-)

5:34 AM  
Blogger Scot said...

This post has been cited as non-authoritative, and I'd provide the link if I knew how to write html. It's at this address:


Tony, be careful what you take your son to do. I once took Luke to sign him up for Little League, and he wasn't sure he wanted to do that ... well, the kid played and played and now gets paid to watch kids play!

5:44 AM  
Blogger Chris Kirk said...

Wow. Props to you for being the good Dad and enduring the event. As for Minnesotans being smarter, I think there is this group of 50,000 people wherever you go in this country that come out of the woodworks for events like MonsterJam. Thank God they don't gather in such large groups the rest of the time.

Hope you wore earplugs!

Chris Kirk

6:54 AM  
Blogger carla said...

I'm sure at least 30,000 of them were from Wisconsin and Iowa.

8:04 AM  
Anonymous bob said...

Tony, this is some of the best writing you've done.

9:14 AM  
Blogger EL MOL said...

I support this. Not only are you a good father, you are a more well rounded person .. open to other possibilities. This is the same reason I said yes to go to Larry the Cable Guy for a friends birthday. It was free as well as one of the most abhorrent and horrifying evenings of my life. I was frightened for america and white men everywhere. But when he busted out his retard jokes . . . I have to say I fell on the floor laughing. BOOM.

3:59 AM  
Blogger manofredearth said...

You mean you don't have a good time for what it is? This is my fourth year taking a dozen or more students and a few adults. We even have pit passes this year to go down and see the trucks and drivers before the show. ^_^

Seriously. The event was planned before I was hired, and they want to go every year. So we go. It's pretty fun, really. Plus, my dad, who avoids stepping foot within a church building if at all possible, goes with us each year, and it's a good connection time. (Of course, so is the Bears in the Super Bowl, since I grew up watching the Bears every Sunday as my dad "watched" through closed eyes on the couch... but heaven forbid I switch the channel...) But I digress. A lot.

12:29 PM  
Blogger gennae said...

at least one other "red letter Christian" has been there. last year my friends took me to Monsterjam for my birthday. a very cultural experience...never seen as many polaris jackets in one place before.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Joseph said...

What a condescending blog.

2:21 PM  

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